I am sick and bored out of my eye sockets.
So, I have decided to rebel against the Go Daddy website I am paying to be constantly spammed on. However, I did not create this site to bitch and complain about my irresponsible consumerism. I created this pretty little page to ramble about smashing patriarchy and to showcase my lifestyle in a positive manner as to connect with other human beings in the empathy box known as the inter-webz! I am so very excited to be back on a free WordPress site, and to protest the site I paid for.
With that being said, you may know me from publications on Mila’s Findings.com ;]
Today, as my nostrils fill to their brims with snot, I am very excited to show you guys how I bike-ride through life and experience this lovely world, starting with how I get well. Being sick and slightly disoriented, I was inspired to document some of the home remedies I agree with, and the ones that just don’t work for me. (Disclaimer: just because an ingredient helps me doesn’t mean it won’t kill you because we inhabit different incarnations). My family and I live a mostly holistic lifestyle, which means alternative medicines are not the alternative in our home. It also means medicine is a hell of a lot less scary, and most of the time, a lot more effective.
If any of this sounds like “beauty tips”, think of it more like health tips because beauty is a lot more subjective than this. Heroin chic lives on.
Wow, where to begin?
For Your Amazingly Gorgeous Face
- For glowing face - You won’t believe this amazing discovery, but you won’t be able to live without it either. Mix one part water and three parts baking soda into a paste. It will feel like a soft scrub in your palms and in your fingertips. Rub on your cheeks, chin, and forehead. Do not leave on or scrub it excessively. Be cool like Fonz and massage gently into your skin, then wash out with a hot towel. Your face will glow instantly. I would do this once a week for facial fluorescence.
- For acne scars – The “miracle drug” for acne scars is something most people have in their kitchens and are unaware of, which of course, would happen. Olive oil can be used and left on as long as needed to treat acne scars. Olive oil dissolves oil so it will actually treat oily faces as well, which was a mouthful. What I do is take some alone time to relax and create an olive oil and sugar mask. I take two table spoons of olive oil and rub it on my face; I can literally instantly peel dead skin and scabs off. Then, I sprinkle a spoon full of sugar onto my face and leave it on for about thirty minutes. It can be left on as long as wanted. Lastly, I scrub off with cool water and dab a hot towel over my face.
- For dark eyes – This has been a genetic problem for me, and was fueled by anemia after my daughter’s birth. The blood and sleep loss after my operation left my eyes darker than ever. It was very depressing to feel like I was doing everything I could for my daughter, except take care of myself, and it showed in my face. Dark eyes have a lot to do with diet, and proper care. The papaya and pineapple enzymes pictured above can be found at your local Trader Joes and will help brighten your eyes. Eating fruits and vegetables like tomatoes, papaya, pineapple, avocado, and lowering your sugar / caffeine intake will help tremendously. Also, be sure to lessen your heavy eye make up because removal causes stress to the sensitive area around your eyes. Aaaand lastly, I dip two circular cotton pads into a container of half water and half pure squeezed lemon juice. I lay the pads on both of my eyes (can also be done with cucumber or lemon slices) and remove after fifteen minutes. Don’t open your eyes either; that would just be silly.
P.S - I had heard that caffeine from green tea helps the area around your eyes. But putting tea bags over my eyes really did not work for me. It was very, very irritating and it burned like Satan was throwing up on my face. Also, it left dark residue on my eyes which kind of upset me. How did it work for you?
For Your Amazingly Gorgeous Hair
This hair mask WORKS!! – Do this once a week and you’ll be golden, literally.
Three egg yolks + one cup of olive oil, castor oil, or coconut oil + one cup of room temp. mayonnaise
= a hair mask to leave in for 1-2 hours and wash out in two separate rinses.
Do this for three weeks and you will have stronger, longer hair.
Apple Cider Shine - If you have dull and lack-luster hair, apple cider can be mixed with ingredients like olive oil, mayonnaise, egg yolks, and castor oil for optimum shine-a-tron.
Lavender and sea salt – Only rock sea salt will do for this one, and it’s very apparent why. The sea salt rocks exfoliate skin and help detoxify your body from a long, otherwise dirty day. The natural lavender oil can be purchased at Whole Foods, Trader Joes, or any local market that carries incense/oils. A few spoon fulls of lavender and a cup of salt will provide the most lovely bath, you’ll forget you live above an Austrian war survivor who is scared of footsteps, and find yourself a lavender field of dreams. P.S you can buy this pre-made in the form of a scrub. Yay forevahhh.
Apple Cider & Epsom Bath – My favorite! A very wise holistic therapist advised me that apple cider vinegar is vital for relaxation after intense meditation sessions or hypnosis or regression therapies. Whenever you have had an extremely annoying day OR an extremely enlightening day. one cup of apple cider vinegar and one cup Epsom Salt mixed in your bath will provide stellar relaxation to further the experience, so you can make the most of it.
For Infections & Illness
Cold sore or fever blister cure – If you get fever blisters after you’ve been sick or if you are genetically prone to getting cold sores during intense weather, here are some very special holistic cures. Online you’ll find fun solutions like applying nail polish remover on the sore or popping it and inserting crushed advils in the sore, which is cool and all if you’re fucking ballsy like that. No, no, no, there are other natural ways to go through this sort of thing. Firstly, don’t freak out and touch and pop and pick until you make it worse. Breathe, apply some tea tree oil once an hour, and it’ll be gone in five days tops. Keep the infected area dry and cold, which means apply tea tree oil, hydrogen peroxide or peppermint oil once an hour with out touching or moisturizing. Moisturize after it’s all over. Fin!
-To cure Pinkeye - I have used apple cider vinegar for my daughter. She was about two and a half when she got her first and so far, only, pinkeye infection. Like lemon juice and salt water, vinegar is effective in cleaning up infections. Quite simply: dab a cotton ball in either pure apple cider vinegar or mix with water. Do not put the cotton ball directly on the eye, but rather dab and clean the sides of eyes where the infection is leaking. She was cleaned up in about three days. Hah!
-To cure Super Intense Acne - This can be used for white head or infected acne spots. Putting a large amount of this or over a large area is actually very irritating to my skin, so I only do this for singular problem areas. If you have an especially huge zit that can easily be infected, use the vinegar over that spot to clear it up quick.
Back to my ridiculously seasoned veggie broth.